He wouldn’t want us to cry…
So, I’m going to smile, imagining him walking towards the pearly gates, his golf trolley pulled behind him.
He’s smiling too, because waiting for him, with a football, ready for a kick-about, are his brothers, Fred, Arthur and John.
Heaven will never be the same. If St Peter didn’t know how to play chase-the-ace before, he soon will do.
There’s already a tee-time booked on heaven’s best links. What a four-ball! Ben Hogan and Arnold Palmer versus Durham Road’s finest; George Needs and Johnny Waters. Ten-bob a hole. Half-a-crown nearest the pin. Gotchas, gimmes, and mulligans allowed.
He was my Uncle. My mentor. My friend. The man I wanted to grow up to be. He taught me just about everything I know, and re-wire every house I owned.
Never a dull moment. He picked me up from school in an Eastern Electricity 18cwt Cherry picker. He took me on a 90-mile M1 road trip in the middle of winter, in a car with no windscreen or heater. I was 9. I froze. He pitched a tent by the 18th green in Scotland; so we could watch the open golf. Only he got the wrong course. It didn’t matter; he was uncle George. When you were with uncle George, everything was always alright.
He taught me to play golf; and then proudly caddied for me in competitions. Every morning, for years, at 7.30am, after he’d driven me to work, we’d played darts. Little wonder he was the star of the Jolly Farmers darts team.
Sundays were the best. Sunday was uncle George day. As a kid, freshly scrubbed, just out of the tub, and ready for bed, Uncle George would show up, and we’d play football or tennis in the back garden. He’d blame me, every time he’d knock the head off one of dad’s dahlias with the ball. By the time Sing Something Simple came on the radio, I needed another bath. I never wanted to climb the wooden hill to Bedfordshire. I wanted to stay downstairs, laughing and joking with Uncle George.
He visited all the kith and kin he loved so much. He loved the parties, seaside trips, and the famed Chingford picnics. Uncle George was what being a family was all about.
Then came Teresa, who took his breath away. She played golf! Score! They were the perfect two-ball. Teresa, you gave him the home life he craved. And just as he loved our family, he adored your family too. You were his rock, never more so, than when he got ill. You meant the world to him. His time with you; was the happiest of his life. You completed him. He dearly loved his ‘kid’, as we know you dearly loved him.
In all the clubs from Whitewebbs to Felixstow Ferry, on all the tees he drove from, and all the greens he putted on, he will be fondly remembered.
He was a man who, in life, never hit it out of bounds, rarely three-putted, and was always well under par.
Given the option, he would never have left his beloved Teresa (and Milly) but now, he’ll be up there with his brothers and his best friend, probably pushing grandad and his piano around on a handcart, looking for a party to gate-crash. Having a blast and causing all-sorts of mayhem.
So, uncle George, with a smile, I say one last time, as I’ve said to you on many golf courses. See two knuckles on your left hand, tuck your right elbow in, feet shoulder’s width, open your stance, keep your hips out of the shot, don’t take it back inside the line, and follow-through to the target.
Look out God, you’ve got a new contender for club champion.
I will miss you uncle George. More than my words can ever say.
x
Malcolm
23rd March 2021